The Best “Worst Time” of My Life

Posted on: September 6th, 2013 by Christine

Excerpted from “Pebbles in the Pond:  Transforming the World One Person at a Time (Wave One)”

God sure has a funny way of working in our lives. Being a coach for years and the author of The Freedom Formula: How to Put Soul in Your Business and Money in Your Bank one of my core teachings was that the Universe is always conspiring for your highest good. It wasn’t until I was put to the test in 2010 and 2011 that I discovered I barely knew what that really meant.

Let me share some background as I guide you through the greatest faith walk of my life. This is a story I hope will help you see that even the darkest times of your life are filled with an abundance of light, and the unfolding of a glorious mystery that can deliver blessing and miracles that far exceed your greatest dreams.

After being an entrepreneur since 1991, I finally hit what most would consider the “jack pot” in January 2009: a successful coaching business, lots of new clients eager to work with me, a best-selling book, and generating nearly a half million in revenues in a single weekend during a seminar I hosted in Los Angeles. I also co-owned a company that trained non-fiction authors to write, publish, and market their books, and had manifested the perfect business partner to help me with that business which I’d started back in 2004. Life was good as I sailed off to the Caribbean to celebrate my success with my husband and daughter. A picture perfect life, indeed. Or, was it?

Let’s see. That half million dollars of seminar revenue cost nearly $150,000 to produce. I ended up with $100,000 in uncollectible credit card charges as the credit crunch hit everyone hard, including many of my clients. I had paid far more than my budget could reasonably afford to hire high-level coaches to help me reach that goal, and my credit cards bills were scary proof of how much I had overleveraged myself in hopes of being a big “success.”

It looked like I had succeeded to everyone on the outside. But what kind of success was it when I put everything on the line to create a business I “thought” I should… doing what so many other coaches helped people do, namely make more money. Once I got honest with myself, I saw the truth that helping other people make money was never a passion that truly inspired me.

Transforming people’s lives was my driving force. Returning people to the magnificent truth of who they really are was my gift. Helping people reclaim and shine their brightest lights in the world was my unique blessing. But, I had stepped away from this truth and didn’t trust it was “enough” to make a great living. (“Not enough” was a theme I was all too familiar with being a high-achieving performer my whole life as a cover to make up for the deep seeded belief that I was never going to be “enough.”)

Hindsight is Always 20/20

Well, little did I know that stepping away from my deepest passion would be the very thing that lead me down the path of financial ruin; an experience that terrified me more than anything. Wasn’t money the only measure of success that really mattered? It was in the world I grew up in, and financial ruin was the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a person in my mind. Who was I if not a financial success? What a powerful question!

So, after months of going through the mental, spiritual, financial, and personal anguish of realizing I had to file for bankruptcy, I felt my life was nearly over. How could I ever succeed again? Who would want to listen to what I had to say? I was a supreme failure. Maybe I should give up my dreams? How much worse could it get?

Well, maybe not that much worse because I still had a business partner and my small publishing company. That was the only shred of hope I had to get me through those very dark days. I knew I could double our revenues again in 2011 and get myself and my family back on our feet. Thank you God, for saving this one asset in all that we were going through!

Wait! What is this? A FedEx package the day before I’m going in to sign my bankruptcy papers? It’s from my business partner’s attorney saying she wants to buy me out of the company. What? That was the only bit of stability that remained in my life. Even my marriage was on rocky terrain after all we’d gone through. If I didn’t have that company, I had nothing.

This unexpected news (after months of planning with our attorney to protect the publishing company through the bankruptcy) impacted me more deeply than finding out my second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. It knocked me to my knees with a force that threw me down into darkness, pain, betrayal, and fear I’d never experienced before.

There were many days I thought I’d be better off giving up and crawling under a rock for the rest of my life. There were days I sobbed without end. There were days I couldn’t recognize myself through the rage that coursed through my veins. There were times I felt like a monster for having the thoughts I had. There were days I hated God. And, there were days I prayed for God to remove the hate and fear from my heart. They were the worst days of my life. And, they were the best days of my life.

A Walk of Faith

In the depth of that darkness when it appeared I had nothing left, I discovered that I had everything if I had my faith and trusted that the Universe really WAS conspiring for my highest good all the time! (Remember, I’d taught this stuff for years, but was only now being asked to really LIVE it.)

Through the mess, the fear, and the pain, a healing and transformation happened that feels like a miracle to me. On January 20, 2011, I surrendered my personal will and leaped into trusting God fully when I stopped fighting to try to keep my publishing company, and sold my shares to my partner for a fee that didn’t even cover my attorney’s bill. It was the scariest and most liberating thing I’ve ever done! I’d never exercised faith like this before. I felt like I was on a wild adventure with God at the helm!

Letting go of that company meant I had no source of income; no business at all. I had to rely completely on the Divine to help me navigate the new and unknown terrain of my life, and whatever new business was trying to emerge through me. I found an inner strength, confidence, and wisdom I’d never known before, and I promised God that I would use this experience in the highest service to others.

And, that’s exactly what I did. Within weeks of signing the final papers with my former business partner (and also our final bankruptcy papers), it was clear exactly what I was being prepared to do! I had been guided every step of the way and received more miracles and blessings that I can count that led me to launch a new business which was totally aligned my unique gifts and blessings.

My new co-creation (this time around, my business partner was God), is in service to visionary leaders who want to share their transformational stories through the power of the written word… their books! This business is my bliss. By the grace of God, I get to channel all of my passion for helping others heal, transform, and shine (ultimately for the purpose of helping all of humanity heal, transform, and shine). And I now combine these blessings with my practical “know how” of what it takes to write, publish, and market a book. Calling this new evolution of my work a “match made in heaven” is an understatement. For me, this felt like nothing short of a miracle that had been in the making for years, if not lifetimes.

The book you’re now holding in your hands is evidence of that miracle, as all of the contributing authors will attest to. This is one of many tools for transformation that was birthed through the best “worst time” of my life. Don’t underestimate the power of this manifestation in your hands right now. You were asking for a prayer… this just might be it!

For me, this book is a sign of the incredible gifts that await you when you surrender to a higher purpose and do what you are truly here to do (with God by your side). I never dreamed my business could be this good, this joyous, this blissful, this rewarding, this impactful, and this abundant!

Let this book (and all of the powerful stories in it) be a sign of grace in your life. Open yourself up to seeing the miracles on the pages. Believe that no matter what challenge you are facing right now, you can transform through it into a whole new experience of yourself. This is how you create a larger ripple of good as you drop your own “pebble in the pond.” This is what it’s all about.

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I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this article – my chapter in “Pebbles in the Pond (Wave One)”

Please comment below – Thank you!

And if you don’t have a copy of “Pebbles in the Pond” yet – check it out here.

Comments

comments

29 responses to “The Best “Worst Time” of My Life”

  1. Mathes Jones says:

    Christine…The thing about great writing is that it comes from the heart and reaches out to connect with the hearts of those who need it in that moment, much like a hand reaching down a deep hole and grabbing onto the life down there to pull it back up to the light. You touched mine today. You could be writing my own story as it is unfolding, and I am grateful for the reminder.

  2. Nicole says:

    Christine, your article captured my attention while at my child’s voice lesson, and I couldn’t stop reading! Thank you for your authenticity, transparency and boldness. Thank you for letting your shine when you had every reason and distraction to hide your shine! Bountiful Blessings! ☆Nicole

  3. Eve says:

    Dear Christine,
    Thank you for sharing your intimate and painful story. It truly is when we are at our lowest point that God can use us the most. When we let go He can help us fly. I believe this with all my heart.

    In my coming to the Transformational Authors Breakthrough, I am hope He will help me fly. Bless you and I am looking forward to meeting you.

    Eve
    PS: Also looking forward to my hug!

  4. Andrea says:

    christine, I’m in the UK and have just started putting together my 1st book. I took part in your transformational authors experience and bought the recordings.

    I love your testimonial and it touched me deeply when I read it.

    thank you for sharing it!

  5. Judy Randall says:

    Dear Christine,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s soooo interesting how things work out. The older I get, the more I realize that any conceived failure does not define me/us. When these “failures” are manifesting in our life, I believe it is always pointing us in the right direction. Although it doesn’t feel like it at the time! It may take some time before the dust settles, but, eventually it becomes clear. I think it was Ghandi that said “count you failures as guidance to know your true path”, something like that. Anyway, I think sharing your difficult times with us is a brave and loving thing to do. I have enjoyed your books very much. with Love,Judy

  6. Absolutely beautiful and such a touching personal view of what you went and have gone through on your journey to your mountain top. My heart goes out to you Christine because I could relate to all you said. It is amazing how the hardest and most challenging times of our lives can be the beginning of something way bigger and greater. We just have to let go and because we haven’t…the Universe ensures that we do. Why must we learn and make the changes necessary the hard way? 🙂

    I admire and commend you for being so honest and vulnerable allowing us to peak into your trials and tribulations and your successful recovery. Such an inspiring story for I know you have touched many of hearts with this. I am so happy to know that you have found and living your life purpose with God as your co-pilot, friend and guide…being totally in tune and connected to your higher self.

    We love you and thank you for going within and realizing who you really are and the divine power that you have within you. You bring so much light and love to us all and may you successfully continue on this glorious and magnificent path.

    Namaste with Unity “Love” Consciousness,
    Wendy Baudín
    Self-Love Sherpa and Wisdom Guide

  7. Christine Rosas says:

    Thank you for the courage to share your story and listen to your true calling! I’m so excited to say I’m on my own personal journey that’s transitioned to listening to my true path! I’m so happy to have found someone like you! And am looking forward to working with you in the future! I have a voice that I believe needs to be heard!

  8. Janet says:

    Thank you Christine, for your wonderful story of transformation. It’s amazing the lessons we learn when we decide to let go and let God. Realizing God truly is in control during the “best times” and the so-called “worst times,” makes our journey to where we are meant to be more Joyful. Being of service to others is what we are sent here to do/be.
    Blessings,
    Janet

  9. Very brave, Christine, and very inspiring. I truly believe that in order to be one of the great ones, you have to go thru the fire and come out whole on the other side, ready to get up and try again. You’ve gone thru the fire and come out whole, and here you are trying again, with much success. More power to you! Thanks for sharing your story.

  10. CJ Schepers says:

    Wow, Christine! I’ve been there myself… financial failure can really throw you to the mat. So brutal. But you pulled yourself out of the ashes and kept going! I feel your experience will inspire others to shake off their shame and make their choices, powerfully. Pure Heart, CJ

  11. Yvonne Gonzalez-Baez says:

    Christine,
    You´ve been an inspiration to me every day: before, during and after the “worst time” of your life. I have had the priviledge of following you through your webinars, monthly coaching sessions, daily messages, etc. for almost four years now (ever since I moved to Canada) ,and I am at awe as to how you have been able to re-invent yourself and effectively work in what you are so passionate about. I know that deep inside me lies the same “spiritual seed” that has made of you the frutiful tree that you now have become. And I somehow hope to follow your steps (though on my own path, if that makes sense) to grow successfully, as you have, once I find out my true mission. That, I beleive has become the toughest part… But I am open to the Spirit, to show me my true gifts and the venue to deliver them to the world.
    You are a true inspiration and a light for many!
    Keep shining, my dear soul sister!

  12. Ros Betts says:

    As I read this article, I felt a deep resonance with your message. Although my experiences have not been the same, I have felt uncertainty about the direction my work (and life) is taking me. Instead of following my heart I have given in to the need for security in having money.

    My desire is to help people heal from self doubt and being able to stand in their own power of I AM. I’m off now to purchase and read the whole of your book.

  13. karmen says:

    Thanks so much 4 sharing your testimony !!! God is truly amazing !!!

  14. Lidia Scher says:

    Thank you, Christine
    This post is very timely for me, as I am stepping away from a long time business I like but do not enjoy. No passion. The journey so far has less rumbles than your experienced, but it feels scary nonetheless. My daily mantra these days is “I wonder how my abundant income and financial freedom will manifest so I can paint as I love and makes me joyous, write about it with passion and continue to be in this space of peace, that surely helps others”. I am grateful for your presence in my life!

  15. Angelika says:

    Hello Christine

    I have come across you, your work, and this blog, in what can only be described as inspired by Grace.

    Your story has shown me that my own circumstances can indeed be surmounted. The trust in my own inner ‘knowing’ and the guidance of Spirit are definitely worth listening to and heeding.

    Thank you for sharing your process of coming through that place of darkness and pain, to a realisation of the blessings it held. We all know that when we listen to guidance, we will travel a path of truth. However, in our humanness, we so often ‘think’ our way through situations, resisting changes of direction and finding ourselves ‘redirected’ in ways that mirror the intensity of that resistance.

    I write these words, not only as I reflect upon your story, but in contemplation of where I currently find myself – a foot on each side… one side being where I am meant to be, the other side a place I am to move away from, releasing all that which is no longer relevant. As I face the fears of letting go, not knowing how I will pay my bills or where I am to go, I trust with all my might that all is, and will be well. I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation, along with the trepidation.

    I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
    Love and blessings,
    Angelika

  16. Christine says:

    Wow…. thank you all so much for your comments about this article. I appreciate and love you and my heart is full knowing that in sharing this part of my journey it may help, inspire and offer you hope on yours. What a blessing to be connected with you. Love, Christine

  17. Sydney says:

    Dear Christine,
    Your full honesty and complete transparency is an invitation for me to be as equally vulnerable. Your story is my story….not necessarily the specifics but your loss of focus…..being lulled by money, betrayed by a friend, and the end of life as you knew it only to be resurrected in a way that only the universe/God could provide. I’m in the beginning stages of my 1st book & reading this has inspired me to open more, go deeper and let myself be seen fully. As you described so beautifully, the dark night of the soul can actually be the blessing and gift we have been praying for…. it just doesn’t always arrive in the packaging we expected. Bless you. Your story is a gift to us all. Sydney

  18. Randy Peyser says:

    Christine, your story speaks to me greatly. My business, too, was doing very well for a long time, but then I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. Going through chemo meant spending seven months in bed. Eventually I was barely able to walk, lost 45 pounds and my hair, and struggled to stay alive. My “power woman” days of being on stage and inspiring others, and going to networking events and conferences, were gone. Every day, I was fighting for my life. Thank God I made it through that horrific experience. But my business lost its momentum even though I’ve created such wonderful success for people. I wonder what it is God really wants me to do. I know I want to speak and help others through the chemo experience. There’s nothing harder I’ve ever faced than that. I’m writing a few new books, “The Little Book of Big Epiphanies” and “Bald Courage”. That’s all I know about my path forward right now. I take my life one day at a time and am grateful for everything that shows up. This past week and the week before I went through many scary medical tests and received an ‘all clear’ result. That is such a huge relief. I guess God wants me around, and that is all that really matters. I am truly grateful to be alive and to let my life unfold so that the way is made clear, and I know what it is I am to do next. By the way, I live in Aromas, which is very close to Monterey. If you would like to get together, please be in touch. Sincerely, Randy Peyser

  19. rebeca says:

    This gives me confirmation that my first story (ready to be published) that took me 3 years to finalize is a testament to the power of faith and surrender. I have personally experienced great humility in the last 3 years and am putting all my eggs in the basket of the creator and my higher self to become the diamond I dare to be…the last few years have been the greatest challenge of my life, but perhaps the deepest and most intense way of waking up and shaping the diamond in the rough that was dormant and waiting for the shake up and wake up of life to bring in the light! Thank you Christine for being a pathfinder for the rest of us diamonds seeking the light.

  20. Cali says:

    Christine,

    Thanks so much for sharing your story at THIS time. It seems so appropriate as we both went through our periods of transformation around the same time, and MY new book is featured in your newsletter. I so appreciate the support and the guidance you have shown me over the last few years. I remember when we first met in San Diego at the 21st Century Book Marketing Conference in 2010. It was at that time I was on the verge of losing everything and WOW…look how far we have BOTH come since then. I am so excited about seeing you and the rest of my GYBD family in Baltimore in a couple weeks. I know it will be a powerful time for all of us.

    Lots of Love,

    Cali

  21. Maria Mar says:

    Thanks, Christine,

    Your story felt to me like a line of light pulling me forward as I surf this moment in my life. I was spell-bound and had to keep reading because in your fear and fearlessness I recognized my own deep faith and the resilience it provides. I recognized that yes! we are fully protected, abundantly provided for and brilliantly guided towards the purpose we came here to fulfill, in spite our blunders. This recognition pulled me through your story with the healing power and transformation of a shamanic journey. It reminded me of old shamans who went into the frequency and dimension of a disease. The drummer beat a steady rhythm, and the shaman, held by another shaman with a rope, began to journey through the rhythm into that dimension, to find the disease and take it away from the ill person. Then the shaman emerged, and the person recovered. This is what you’ve done for us today. Bless you, brave soul and brilliant writer. Big hug and my gratitude.

  22. Thanks Christine! As an author in one of your books in your previous company
    I found the marketing methods questionable in terms of ethics and I felt at that time I had turned away from who I was as the advertising was not a true reflection of the content of the book. though I loved the actual book. From the marketing I actually lost clients or let’s just say I had to do lots of damage control. I am glad to hear the back story and the message is timely as I make a new decision to move forward with Faith to carry me. I was going to say only faith but hey that is everything! And I will write that book! Your program was excellent and you are a great mentor

  23. Mary jones says:

    Dear Christine,

    Wow, wow, wow! Myself as all of the others who have commented here today about your Blog and story, am deeply grateful for your transparency! It gives me hope.

    Seven years ago, I started writing a book to help women who were headed for crisis to see the red flags in all relationships: with people, with money etc…and avoid the trainreck. I stopped writing because I didn’t have all the content. Ironically I just broke up with a man that I still love deeply who I dated for four years. Life circumstances and opposite Coasts have kept us apart. I waited too long for a change and finally had to pull the plug on our relationship. This has emotionally been a huge loss for me, but it was the right change for me to do for myself.

    I have been also struggling with my finances for some time now and realize I have waited too long to get a non-commission job but am looking now. I love selling homes and commercial property, but the market has been slow. Unless a miracle happens in the next two weeks, I will be homeless, and without any income!

    I have spent my whole life helping others. Asking for help is a very humbling experience! If you readers have any ideas or options for me to look at, I would love your feedback! I need a house to sell imediately and will pay a finders fee for the referral. I also need a non-commission job, and a place to live, even temporarily. I realize that we are all community and here to help each other on our life paths.

    Christine, your story gives me hope and inspires me that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I can re-invent myself and rise up again! I know that God can make beauty from ashes, and I am working towards that, and waiting with great expectation for that miracle in my own life!

    Thank you, and may God continue to richly bless you Christine!

  24. Hi Christine, there is a battle inside my mind whether to tell my story of heart-wrenching financial and personal adversity. I know deep down money is not the measuring stick of success, yet there is this pesky side of me that won’t give up that notion. Thank you for taking that step and sharing your personal story that will help millions who have experienced financial loss in the US since July 2008. Your message resonated with me.

    Best of Success

    Kevin Kennemer
    The People Group
    Tulsa, OK

  25. Angelena Morales says:

    Thank you Christine for that story! It brought me to tears
    Realizing that the universe has presented your gifts
    In my path , which matches all that I’ve already prayed for.
    It’s funny how things happen,I was all geared up to go to the
    Transformation seminar this year and missed the deadline
    Of the 95$ because I could not confirm my days off work yet.
    Then after that me and my husband decided we were moving to
    Tx by the end of our lease in Oct! Talk about split decisions!
    I am hoping this will leave me closer to my dreams even though I can’t
    See how it fits right now. The scary thing is not knowing that a decision you
    Make is leading you off the path or not until you fail

  26. Lisa Manfuso says:

    Christine,

    What a powerful article on how you were able to turn your trials into triumphs! It is so interesting to me to read how others overcome their trials, and pursue an authentic experience. Your article reminded me to “let go of the wheel”. It’s advice that I have heard before, but it shocks me when I am at the helm of my life and realize that I can’t control everything, and by holding tightly to the wheel, I shut out the very vibrancy of my soul, and the yearnings of my heart.

  27. Christine, your story mirrors the story so many of us have faced in our own mid-life transition. It is the breakdown that happens before the breakthrough as we find our true selves and our true purpose. Thank you for sharing your story with such transparency and for being the light that you are.

  28. Akasha Lonsdale says:

    What an inspiring story Christine and one I can relate to at many levels! It put me in mind of the expression “the darkest hour is just before dawn” and my own which is “let the cracks appear they are your way out”. Gratitude for the bad times is every bit as important as gratitude for the good times. So much comes from those “dark nights of the soul”. I am in a time of transition and daily ask for guidance – I just need to leave enough time to receive it! Thank you again for your beautiful sharing and many blessings to you and all those you serve. Om Shanti.

  29. Lynn Young says:

    Daring greatly to tell the truth (with Brene Brown smiling as she reads your vulnerable words, I bet!). I can feel your knees knocking, Christine—and admire you for putting it out there—-as in the out in Universe for the Whole World to See. Telling the whole truth. Now that’s powerful, rare and valuable beyond measure! (And, the world lines up for that kind of leadership!!!!! You can feel it!)

    You know, when we were little our mothers told us to “Tell the truth.” You’ve done it—-right here—in spades (hmmm, now curious about THAT metaphor) —and in service of a Greater Good! Impacting me, right here in Colorado—and rippling across the planet, baby!

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