Frank Sinatra Had it Right – Do It Your Way!

Posted on: August 8th, 2013 by Christine

It was the morning of December 1, 2011 and I was getting dressed to speak at an event in Baltimore, MD.   This was my first live speaking engagement after having gone through my “dark night of the soul” in 2010.

I had to dig out my fancy speaking suit because it had been packed away.  It was a beautiful brown tailored suit with a long coat and pants that fit like they were custom made just for me.  I had a sparkly top to wear underneath and just the right pair of shoes.

So, I got myself dressed and looked in the mirror.  I was surprised to discover that I really didn’t like how I looked or how I felt.  I wanted to jump out of my skin!  Or… my suit!

When I looked in the mirror, what I saw was someone who put on a “costume” to try to get people to perceive me in a certain way… together, successful, sharp, smart, etc.   What I realized in putting this suit on for the first time AFTER I had changed so much on the inside.. was that I didn’t need a suit to try to get people to perceive me a certain way.

I was the way I was whether I was in a suit, yoga pants, jeans or a dress.  Clothes didn’t make me who I was… I am who I am on the inside!

So, as the clock ticked and I needed to leave for the speaking engagement I tore through my closet trying to find something that looked and felt RIGHT!  I put on all of my old speaking outfits, the tailored pants, fancy shoes and sparkly tops.  NONE of them felt like me… they all felt like a show.

The only thing in my closet that felt right were my favorite pair of jeans and one of my long sweaters.  But, I thought, “I can’t wear jeans for a speaking engagement… that’s so unprofessional.”  I think that inner critic was alive and well from my days of being told I couldn’t wear jeans to church… that I needed to look nice (for other people).

Then… I heard Frank Sinatra in the back of my head singing “I Did It My Way.”  So, I did it!  I put on my jeans, a simple tank top and my favorite sweater.  The only thing that I kept was the great pair of shoes.  I felt amazing!  I felt like me!  I felt like I could walk on that stage and feel 100% aligned with my message.  I would have been out of alignment if I showed up in a fancy suit… that just wasn’t me anymore!

This may seem like a small thing, but it was truly liberating for me!

So, I want to ask you now.  What small thing are you doing that’s compromising part of who you are?  Do you dress a certain way but not really feel at HOME in your clothes?  Do you say or do things you don’t really want to do, just because you think you should or wonder what others will say about you?

I encourage you to look for those small and seemingly insignificant ways you may compromise the essence of who you are.  Instead… listen to Frank Sinatra and be willing to Do It Your Way!  You’ll feel better – and become a more open vessel for your soul’s essence to shine through without anything getting in your way!

You deserve to do things your way – your book, speaking, coaching, dressing, living – you’re the only one on the planet who can “do” you!

If you’ll excuse me now… I need to go put on a pair of jeans and head down to the conference!

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I’d love to hear your thoughts on this… and how you “do it your way!”  Please comment below…

Comments

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16 responses to “Frank Sinatra Had it Right – Do It Your Way!”

  1. I can so relate to this! What I’ve done this past year to be more authentically me is stop coloring my hair. I was trying to be someone else (younger…) by dyeing it, but I’ve decided it’s time to celebrate wisdom instead of bottled youth. I’m also ditching my “professional speaker” clothes. It feels great! Thanks for sharing this.

    • Thank you Christina for this article – really just what I need as I take my skills to the world in a new way right now.

      Lisa I can so relate to you too. I cried for a whole day when I made the decision to stop coloring my hair a few years ago, but it has been one of the most liberating decisions I’ve ever made. I love my new look now and occasionally even dream that I have colored hair and don’t like it.
      Aren’t we funny!

  2. Ellen Shea says:

    I Did It My Way has been my theme song since I decided to go back to college as an adult with two teenagers and of course I wanted the full college experience so I picked one across the state. This was the first time I had done something just for me and it felt amazing. I am using it now as I am pulling together everything necessary to create an incredible retreat/meditation center in Western Washington. I have found what I feel to be the perfect location and am once again Doing it my way. Exciting times and I love sharing it with others. I look forward to holding space for individuals and groups to reconnecting with their true self and finding and living their dreams.

  3. Great insight! Who needs fancy when we can be exactly who we are?

    In 3 Dimension?

  4. Marinna Rose says:

    Hello Christine,

    I love this article, it really speaks to needing to fit what we think is expected. I can completely relate to this because I love to dress fun and unique and when I feel I need to do the business attire to fit the profile nothing seems to connect!

    I am a firm believer in completely being who you are and I bet you gave one of the best speeches ever feeling completely YOU! I love it -thanks so much for sharing!

    ~Marinna Rose

  5. Nancy Karlson Bridge says:

    You, my dear Christine, have no idea how free I’ve been set by taking your programs and coaching to heart. The walls of Jericho have come down. All the barriers I had to fully sharing my authentic self and alright-ness with others have crumbled. There is sand at my feet where insurmountable pillars once stood.

    I am forever grateful for all the unexpected blessings, insights and even the pain that came with gifts in it’s hands.

    Thank you.

    Warmest regards,

    Nancy Karlson Bridge

  6. I totally resonate with what you’re saying and it reflects in my books- I can’t write fluffy animal wisdom books – I have to write the sacred wisdom as I’ve been sent it! I could have gotten more deals if it had been fluffy bunny hugging but that’s not my mission!! So I’m doing it my way because like you -we HAVE to! Much love Madeleine

  7. Julie says:

    I loved this post! “I Did It My Way” is my fav song ever! And it used to be me… I’ve lost this feeling somewhere along the way, but I’m getting it back!! Thank you for the reminder!

  8. nancy karlson bridge says:

    Since beginning a relationship with you, Christine, and all the powerful speakers at TAE 2013, I cannot think of one small thing I’m doing to compromise my authentic self. One of the smartest things I ever did was to buy a Diamond Pass and get myself into your Get Your Book Done now program.

    Not only am I almost complete and well satisfied with two books I’ve written, u hardly recognize myself. I always longed for the freedom to be, just BE me. Stopped every time, I was living in deep sadness and resignation. I had almost totally given up on my value as a human being; I was a failed writer.

    I also fully embraced the notion that from our deepest wounds come our greatest gifts. In the time that I’ve been fiercely associated with your ‘tribe’ I have allowed myself to confront, head on, the deepest and darkest experiences that left me feeling/believing that I was not worthy of love. Nothing is small to me now. My tears are bigger, my heart expanded and a quiet confidence of knowing that I’m really okay, exactly as I am, has emerged.

    This freedom to be and share who I really am, at the heart of the matter, was not easily won. It took trust in you, and others connected with you, to stay the course. My mother and brother have since cut off all contact with me; they are extremly righteous individuals and I’ve acquiesced to their beliefs trying to win their approval and love my entire life. The cost of that was my genuine self expression, my authentic voice.

    I’m still embarrassed to share that I have lost my family of origin, but thankful to God and you for what I’ve found.

    Peace & blessings to you, dear Christine Kloser,
    Nancy Karlson Bridge
    A transformed warrior with a message and a burning desire to share.

    • nancy karlson bridge says:

      Would you let me know you got this, please?

    • Christine says:

      Wow Nancy! You area amazing and I am grateful our paths have crossed. Sending you love… and HUGS next month!

      • nancy karlson bridge says:

        September seems so far away! I will consider and create the experience of being hugged NOW!!! It’s funny, the more I share with others the parts of the memoir I had considered deliberately leaving out, (the too painful, shameful and never-should-have-happened events) the more love and encouragement I receive to tell the whole truth, for the good of others. This IS all I’ve ever wanted to do; BE a contribution on the planet, help others to set themselves free and live life as if it mattered. It does matter.

        “When I don’t know who I am; I serve you.
        When I know who I am; I am you.”

        Peace & blessings sweet Christine!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Hi Christine, AMEN to that! I very much resonate with all your messages about authenticity and want to thank you again for sharing from your heart! Blessings and Joy!

  10. Hi Christine,

    thank you for this wonderful article. So true! The suit that I was wearing most of my life was how I observed – and internalized – how ‘one does business’. I always felt ‘wrong’ for not ‘roaring loudly and being this tough business woman who just takes three closed doors in one stride – only to emerge on the other side of the wall with the whole room taken and profits made, beaming all the more.

    Thankfully, in the meantime, I have discovered that my high value and very purpose lies in bringing the power of the gentle (!) way – inspiring magical being(s).

    Your TAE 2013 has added so much clarity to my life, and I found myself emailing my friend that actually gathering and crystallizing my book proposal has brought so much clarity and let me see the golden thread throughout my life so far. It is more than ‘just’ a book plan, more than ‘just’ a business plan, even more than ‘just’ a blueprint for my life – I told her that I should from now on call it

    not BOOK PROPOSAL … but … BOOK PRO-PURPOSE-ALL

    I feel so blessed with ALL of it – and you,

    big hug to all of you,

    with gratitude and gentleness,

    Tanya

  11. Sue Vanags says:

    Dear Christine,
    I had listened to most of your Transformational Author Experience and loved it all! Growing up in an environment always seeking approval of the elderly and authoritative, I always wanted my husband to proof read my blog posts and my writing, thinking that my English was not good enough, my content was not good enough. Then one day it just hit me that this is my life and if people are not going to like me for who I am and not resonate with my writing that comes from inside of me, then too bad. I am going to live the way I am inside and attract the people that will be energized by that glow and uplifted by my message. Live life with abandon and liberation! Then I do not need to pretend to be someone else anymore. I think this is what true freedom really means.
    With love and gratitude,
    Sue

  12. Elle says:

    Good for you Christine…there are so many ways we struggle with our own authenticity…our self concepts and beliefs hold us back every time and as you point out, the belief about how you should dress was really a hand me down from your family.

    Maybe we should check out all our beliefs about who we are and re-evaluate ourselves every now and then.

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